Vulnerable

I am a very guarded person. I always have my shield up so high. It's almost impossible for a person to penetrate into the bubble I've created for myself. Probably my past life experiences of having cared for too much, probably having let in people very easily into my life and having been disappointed and hurt, or maybe it's just that I am that kind of a person; a seemingly jovial, extremely difficult to offend, and a man with an obnoxiously infective laughter who gets awkward and cracks stupid jokes around people and situations which evoke a sentimental response. 

But when I am with you, I feel like a whole new person. I feel like this sixteen year old kid who is madly attracted to this girl he just met. I feel like letting down all my guards, throwing them away. Actually, I don't want that guard to be anywhere close whenever I am around you. 

I don't know what school of romance or love I belong to, but right from the time I have met you, I felt like telling you the most minute details about me; you know those details no one would ever want to share with anyone. 

I felt like telling you about the time this guy put a compass on the bench where I sat and the whole class burst out into laughter; I wanted to tell you about the time when this creepy uncle on the bus tried to feel me up and I had to get off the bus to avoid embarassment; I wanted to tell you that the last time I wet the bed was when I was 13. You know, about all the times when I was embarassed in front of the general public at large. You make me feel that it is okay to be vulnerable. Infact, you bring out the vulnerable guy in me. 

If not for you, I'd have never known that people are inherently flawed and being vulnerable and having your guard down is the most intimate form of love one could ever provide. You make me wear my flaws with honour; just like how you wear yours. 

You never cease to astound me with all your open, unabashed and unapologetic opinions even when you know you're wrong.  

You my love, have taught me how to lead a life. To cry, to laugh, to show discontent, to be angry, to be anxious and also to seek help whenever it is required. 

Need I say that you embraced my love with open arms even knowing how flawed I am? 

Each passing day with you, I learn about a new quirk, about a new flaw of yours and each day I fall more in love with you than ever before. 

And today, on this rainy night, as I sit and write this ode to you on the eve of your birthday, I turn towards you, to see you lying on the bed, snoring, drooling and sleep talking, I know.. that you're the one.